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Finances / Finanzen » uk.finance » finance jokes
finance jokes [message #380154] Sa, 15 April 2006 14:09
mackbest  
Does anybody know any finance related jokes? if so....please share them
with us no matter how bad they are.

to start off here's one:

what do government bonds and women have in common? they both take long
time to mature!
Re: finance jokes [message #380179 ] Sa, 15 April 2006 20:44
DarkProtoman  
Here's one: A new, cheap way for the govt to refinance: the zero coupon
perpetuity. Uncle Sam'll take your $10,000 and then'll it'll accrue
interest...forever!!! You just lost $10,000!!!

Or, sign's you're at a bad bank:

When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other
After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your house
begging for toast
Your monthly statements are handwritten in crayon
When you want to make a withdrawal, clerks suddenly don't speak English

You notice Kato Kaelin sleeping in the vault
Your safety deposit box is a Dunkin' Donuts carton wrapped in tinfoil
All cash deposits go directly into teller's pants
Lobby is waist-deep in Mexican pesos
Toll free customer service line is 1-800-GET HOSED
Four words: Bank President Rosa Lopez
Instead of compounding your money, they discount it.
Your checks in your checkbook are handwritten
They have not quite understood the concept of a "loan" yet

Can anyone think of more?
Re: finance jokes [message #380183 ] Sa, 15 April 2006 22:58
Tumbleweed  
<mackbest [at] yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1145102976.948815.143500 [at] i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> Does anybody know any finance related jokes? if so....please share them
> with us no matter how bad they are.
>
> to start off here's one:
>
> what do government bonds and women have in common? they both take long
> time to mature!
>
I think that ones wrong, should be men, not women!

--
Tumbleweed

email replies not necessary but to contact use;
tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com
Re: finance jokes [message #380190 ] So, 16 April 2006 04:00
Christian Konrad  
mackbest [at] yahoo.com wrote:
> Does anybody know any finance related jokes? if so....please share them
> with us no matter how bad they are.

"Dear Valued Bank Manager, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the
check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month..."

http://www.petting-zoo.net/~deadbeef/archive/4396.html
Re: finance jokes [message #380266 ] Mo, 17 April 2006 16:29
alan.frame  
Tumbleweed <thisaccountneverread [at] yahoo.com> wrote:
> <mackbest [at] yahoo.com> wrote in message
[]
> > what do government bonds and women have in common? they both take long
> > time to mature!
> >
> I think that ones wrong, should be men, not women!

Nonono.

"What's the difference between a Eurobond and a Eurobond dealer?
The Eurobond finally matures."

Have a look at the 'Accountancy Music Charts' on:
http://www.accountancystudents.co.uk/fun.php
in particular http://www.accountancystudents.co.uk/files/SOX-31.mp3

rgds, Alan
--
99 Ducati 748BP, 95 Ducati 600SS, 81 Guzzi Monza, 74 MV Agusta 350
"Ride to Work, Work to Ride" SI# 7.067 DoD#1930 PGP Key 0xBDED56C5
Re: finance jokes [message #380271 ] Mo, 17 April 2006 18:05
Christian Konrad  
On 15 Apr 2006 05:09:37 -0700, mackbest [at] yahoo.com wrote:

>Does anybody know any finance related jokes?

CPI...

--
to respond via email, visit:
http://tinyurl.com/e48z9
Re: finance jokes [message #382744 ] Di, 18 April 2006 20:16
Tumbleweed  
"M Holmes" <fofp [at] holyrood.ed.ac.uk> wrote in message
news:e22mn6$2fh$2 [at] scotsman.ed.ac.uk...
>> Does anybody know any finance related jokes? if so....please share them
>> with us no matter how bad they are.
>
> Three econometrists go hunting. They spot a deer. The first econometrist
> shoots and misses to the left by a yard. The second econometrist shoots
> and misses to the right by a yard. The third econometrist whoops and
> yells "We got it! We got it!"
>


....the fourth, House Price Crash economist, says 'the deer will be shot at
some time in the future so lets get the barbeque started now"

--
Tumbleweed

email replies not necessary but to contact use;
tumbleweednews at hotmail dot com
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